1.I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.
(Patrick Murray)
2.Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
(Unknown)
3.Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
(Will Rogers)
4.Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished.
(Leslie Nielsen)
5.Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money!)
(Unknown)